3.5 Months Home

I can't believe it. I've been home for as long as I was away, and not surprisingly, the last 3.5 months dragged on with school. Nothing compared to 3.5 months in Ghana... AFRICA. But, it had to be done.

It's been a challenge at times, being home; there have been so many things to do, and people to see, and school to complete. It's been a struggle, but manageable as all things are, and somehow I always seem to manage. I guess I'm lucky that way - or work really hard (I say luck but feel free to challenge me).

I think of Ghana on a daily basis. I think of the people I met, the experiences I had, the love I felt. I remember the smells, the sounds, the tastes, the sights... but I know that those will eventually die out and will become a distant memory - and as the Ghanaians would say "It pains me". I don't want to be put into a position where I don't remember, but I know it will happen. It already has for Ecuador, but my scrapbook keeps some of those memories alive and I'm thankful for that. I will have to start my Ghana scrapbook soon, although it's a little overwhelming (I'm sure it will be fun).

I've noticed that over the last month or so, my friends in the program have hit walls and roadblocks just as I have. We've found each other upset, frustrated, angry, lonesome, tired, and isolated... We've found ourselves searching flight information and trying to figure out how much it will take away from our summer earnings if we could just go back for a few weeks. I'd be afraid I'd never come back (don't panic mom, of course I would.. maybe). It's something I can't really explain and it makes it that much more difficult. I am thankful that I have friends who understand me, and who feel the same as I do, and know what sadness runs through my veins when I don't know when or if I will ever go back.

I received an email not long ago from Pops, he's looking for computers for his school - what am I supposed to do? I'm finishing my 4th year of university (about time!) and I don't have the energy right now to start that project, but it calls at me and I may just have to figure something out. What I would do if I could provide their school with computers... it would be a blessing.

I also received an email from my Ghana husband, Yaya. He is doing well, in school, and working hard. I'm happy for him and I'm sure his mum is too - he's a smart guy and I hope he has the opportunity to do something great with his life, although I know opportunities are limited.

I miss my summer and I miss the excitement - somehow my History of Sexuality class just didn't cut it this term (although it WAS a great class and I did exceptionally well - at least I hope I will). But planting mango trees and waking up to my host brother 'Young' was more fulfilling. Although... I did write a 16 page history paper on HIV/AIDS and racial blame... I guess I'm still incorporating my learnings, and that keeps me closer to my experience.

As Christmas approaches I will be making care packages for my counterparts in Ghana - I'll put pictures and letters and maybe some small gifts to send - maybe just cash, they'd know what to do with it better than I do right now. I hope they receive everything.

I've heard that Youth4Change still meets, although I have no idea what is going on, and it's tough being out of the loop, but I have faith that they are being looked after. At the very least they have supplies and resources that can answer some of their questions. I miss them and think of them often.

All in all - I don't have too much to say, my heart can't be put into words, at least not right now because it's a little pained by how much I miss them and how much I wish I could share that experience with you all.. and knowing that I can't is part of that pain. But I'm strong (we all know that, even I can't deny it) and I know things are well and good and I am a very lucky woman.

I look forward to meeting again.

Wa ma kpe (we shall meet).

Dede